Cardinals and Control

An Anecdote From Skye Glodek

Control. Let’s talk about the enormous desire for it even when we are not supposed to have it that I know all too well.

In the past, I was never accepting when things weren't going how they were "supposed to" because, in my mind, everything needed to run on schedule. Every minor inconvenience would affect the rest of my day. For instance, if Yoga went 15 minutes past 6:45 a.m., my day would be ruined because I would have to rush to school, and my pre-planned day would go differently than scheduled.

I went to Yoga the other day, and even though it lasted 15 minutes longer than scheduled, I still had a smile on my face as I left. I came to the realization that while I could control my decision to attend Yoga before school, I had no control over the result. I just knew I would go home and get ready, and whatever time I got to school was the time I got there. However, I didn't begin thinking in this way until last month.

We were right on schedule as my parents and I were heading to a college visit. I had the school in my Waze even though my dad had it on his phone. I needed to follow along and ensure I knew exactly when we were getting there; we needed to arrive on time. But, we made a mistake along the way, which delayed us by 10 minutes, and I started to feel stressed and began complaining, "Only if we left 10 minutes earlier, we could have made it."

"Skye, are you serious? You can't help these things. If you let these things affect you, you'll never get through life."

I disregarded my mom's words and grew agitated as the bumper-to-bumper traffic continued. All four lanes were closed down for 10 minutes for an unknown reason. I looked around, still watching the time go up on my Waze, and asked, "What are all these people going to do who have to catch a flight or make it to work?"

"Well, they will have to email their boss or understand whatever happens, happens; it's just life."

Despite the setback, I could only think about being on time for the college tour. As my parents attempted to get me to understand we couldn't do anything about it, the notion "everything happens for a reason" suddenly popped into my head. As I gave it some thought, I began to settle and really believe I was exactly where I needed to be. As I looked up from my Waze into the lanes on my left, a massive truck with a cardinal passed by. An unexplainable feeling jolted through my body, and I immediately shut up about the time the rest of the way. I didn't tell my parents what had just happened, and I wondered what they were thinking since my complaining stopped.

What's so significant about the cardinal? A few years ago, my grandfather died, and ever since then, he has gained the status of a cardinal in our eyes. In my family, he is represented by the two cardinals who moved into my garden following his passing. The massive cardinal truck that drove by, an unknown brand I hadn't seen before, was my grandfather's way of telling me to stop and "just go with it." I finally discovered that no matter how much I desire control, life is happening around me exactly as it is supposed to.

Skye