Sells Seashells by the Seashore

Limpets, ceriths, cones, and likewise cast ashore with the tide at my toes. 

A younger me watched with disappointment, in hopes of catching a glimpse of a conch or sand dollar as the Jersey Shore seashell natives washed up instead. They would have to suffice for my collection, and I ran after and snatched them before the whims of the sea swallowed them all over again. 

On walks along the shore now I still see these same seashells, but instead of reaching down and claiming them as my own I let the ocean scatter her treasures as she pleases. 

Today I watched as a couple seashells, a plastic wrapper, and what looked like seaweed kissed the sand temporarily, before being swept away by another wave. A phenomenon with utmost transience. 

I thought of all other temporary things: weather, your favorite song (and all favorites of the indecisive), the state of the economy, where you live, your coffee order, romantic interests, your intended college major, fashion trends, your first job, beauty standards, and arguably most temporary of all, life itself. If you are about to go off to college like me, you know childhood is temporary, and you should be reminded that college is also temporary.

I thought of how shells are even made, and to all my seashell novices without a serious childhood business dependent on them, prepare to be enlightened. Shells are formed in layers over time through a process called biomineralization. It continuously adds new layers of calcium carbonate and protein, which build upon the existing shell. Put simply, it is a complex process that occurs gradually over a snail’s (or other owner of the shell’s) lifetime, with each layer adding to the strength and structure of the shell. 

This process reminds me in some ways of human life and its continuous evolution. I think of how each experience and person in my life has added a new layer to my personality. A lot of my bits and witticisms are stolen from my friends. My writing style resembles that of some of my favorite authors. I walk at Natirar Park every chance I get because my neighbor brought me there once, and I prefer El Monte coffee because a friend’s mom recommended it. I get my nails done the same color since Danica wore it sophomore year, and I am lathered in Eos Vanilla Cashmere Moisturizer right now because I smelt Avery in it once. I sign all my letters “El” ever since someone called me it, and I crack all my fingers and toes like my sister does. My music taste has been influenced by every person I have come across who is willing to discuss it, and each specially curated Spotify playlist of mine has sparked from that initial inspiration. I find myself doodling similar flowers to those tattooed in Alyssa’s ear, I think too much like my grandma does, I have my dad's big brown eyes, sometimes I sense a little Staten Island in me from my mom, and I try to smile as wide and bright as Mia does. 

I am merely a reflection of all the beautiful people I have known, and I am eager to acquire many more layers from all the beautiful people I have yet to know. It is my chosen family, pillars of my joy and guideposts during this pivotal time, who have shaped my life impermeably - and that is what is forever.

Best,

El