Summertime and Moments

With so much dialogue around the winter blues and the dread of the colder seasons I think the struggles of this time of year are often overlooked. While the warmer climate brings much needed sunlight and vacation time into our lives, it also comes with some difficulties that are not talked about enough. For me, these difficulties extend beyond the evident, but still extremely significant, issues that surface related to body image. I may romanticize the spontaneity of this upcoming time without school, but if I am being candid, the lack of structure can also pose as an obstacle for me.

For most, summer break means more time: more time for yourself and more time for friends and family. More time for yourself may come across as placid and relaxing, and for many it may just be that. However, for a lot of us, anxiety arises when the pressure to meet self-imposed expectations confronts this unstructured time period. In our increasingly competitive society, achievement has become the top priority for many. This type of mindset, if regulated, can be helpful concerning motivation - maybe in completing a type of work or task. Unregulated though, this constant state of productivity that we feel is necessary for self worth can lead us trapped in ourselves. From a young age, we observe how success is rewarded and productivity is treated as a badge of honor. So naturally, during this excess time on our hands we feel the need to "better ourselves" in one way or another. There is a lot of pressure around using this time "correctly" or getting ahead in life. This mindset spoils our ability to live freely in the moment and cherish every instant. We need to recognize that success is not synonymous with sustained happiness. Most importantly, you do not have to put in perpetual effort to matter in this world, YOU ARE WORTHY FOR MERELY EXISTING.

More time for friends might mean complete and utter pleasure and excitement to you, but it definitely can come with its heavily concealed repercussions. I have mentioned imposter syndrome, a disorder I deal with often, on here before, but it is particularly relevant to this topic. Imposter syndrome, or the internal experience of believing you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, is narrowly applied to achievement. My definition of imposter syndrome, from my experience, applies more to social contexts. In social settings, I find myself experiencing estrangement, or feelings that I do not belong or am unwanted. While these feelings can be triggered by an incorrectly interpreted stimulus, like the lack of a formal invitation, they can also occur with absolutely no supporting evidence. So, this surplus time for social gatherings and parties can provoke fear that I am not truly wanted anywhere, and when the choice is provided of whether or not to attend something I am lead to pick the latter. If you find yourself feeling this way, you need to first recognize that these feelings are misleading and ultimately incorrect. You have to detach yourself from the idea that people need to explicitly vocalize their desire to be with you in order for you to know that you are wanted. My advice to you for this summer is to go into all social situations with confidence. Too often we associate physical attractiveness with confidence, but that is not what I mean in any way. Go into all social situations with the confidence that you are funny, intelligent, or interesting enough to enhance the environment of at least one person in the room. Additionally, realize that other people's qualities do not take away from your own. We can all coexist in an environment and all contribute to its enhancement in our own way.

During all of this, of course, is the amplification of our lives on social media. Summer is known to be a time of fun, so of course others are going to want to share their ways of maintaining this satisfaction on the internet. Comparison is inevitable, I know, but we have heard too much awareness surrounding the fact that an external showing of happiness, no matter how convincing, is not enough to make us unhesitant that those showings are valid, to fall into this trap. This comparison also spoils, even completely eliminates, our ability to live in moments. Reflecting my proceeding paragraph, our society has influenced us to always want better, always want more. Too many times we are somewhere, doing something, and find ourselves longing to be somewhere "better," doing something "better." I am so guilty of this, but I challenge myself, and all of you, to completely reject this outlook this summer. This summer, I hope to soak in absolutely every second of every moment, whether I am helping my mom run errands, sitting home with my grandma, or going to the coolest event or most popular party. Time is so precious, and too many times have I taken it for granted and let it slip away from me in a state of dissatisfaction with what I am doing. I intend to make the most out of every single moment, and simply exist.

Love to all my readers,

El.